‘Wajbat’, the Curse of the new Middle Eastern Generations

One of the most defining characteristics of the eastern societies, and particularly the Middle Eastern ones, as compared to their western counterparts, is their attachment to values and traditions that governs the norms and behaviors of individuals in these societies.

Sustaining these never-ending and wide-ranging set of values and traditions requires that individuals honor and commit to performing versatile social duties such as weddings, funerals, condolences, social visits, saying welcomes and goodbyes whenever someone travels or come back from abroad, or any other sort of congratulatory occasions a.k.a “Wajbat”. While that might sound reasonable and even common logic that applies to all kinds of societies from all corners of the world, this might not be the case when those so called Wajbat are obliged against people whom we have never met before, have no friends in common, and don’t even know who the **** we are!

One could plead the case for weddings as being a joyous occasion in which you are invited to join celebrating. However, when it comes to funerals, can anyone please help explain the logic behind taking a two hour trip in the middle of a stark cold winter, of which you come back freezing to death, to pay your much respected condolences for a person whose obituary you’ve heard through a microphone or from a friend? I also don’t understand why parents could close their stores and companies to go perform Wajbat. Is it because of a lack of better things to do?

I realize that this is a fading trend that is mostly performed in the more rural areas of Lebanon where people are more firm on traditions. I also realize that such habits and traditions are reflective of the ‘warm’ traditions that our elders hold dear to themselves. And since such habits doesn’t harm or offend anyone and are courteous of the person performing them, I am fine with them. However, these Wajbat become a new definition of cruelty to me when we are pushed/obliged/guilted by our parents to join them on that rosy path of Wajbat. Our once dear and loving parents see no sense in arguing to what is sacred for them.

What annoys me the most is these nonsense excuses that they come up with in order to justify the ‘utmost necessity and unquestionable need’ for these Wajbat. “You have to go pay condolences” to people you don’t know and they don’t know you, “don’t you want people to come to your funeral?!” I mean come onnnn!!! Another argument is that we are now at an age where we are ‘old enough’ to start contributing in these Wajbat (I’m 27 for god’s sake, what age is old enough!!!).

While I know that this Wajbat issue will be a constant source of struggle between me and my parents, and among several other family members, I only hope, and rather dream, that they will either see our younger generation’s point of view towards the matter or just agree to disagree and just let us be!

Until then, it’ll remain a Lebanese thought…

Women Thinking vs. Men's... the battle continues

While the discussion started out as a humorous teasing between co-workers over lunch, the topic of ‘how women and men’s thinking, analysis and approach differs, sometimes drastically, towards the daily issues each face’, it spread through a number of days where I opened the subject with different friends, colleagues and even family members. Each seemed to have their own differing opinion on how men and women see things. One thing all agreed on is that men do come from different planets. While this post might further justify that all men are sexist pigs or that Middle Eastern men come from the stone ages (in terms of women treatment), I beg to differ and argue that this is an international proposition.

The first of other discussions that followed had me sitting through unfavorable odds with three ladies – whom, for the record, I respect and believe are fair and objective in their assessment of any subject – and poor little old me. Thought I ferociously fought the “Man” proposition, as the saying goes: ‘numbers defeated courage’ and my version of logic on the matter at hand; my version of logic being my humble opinion. To put things in perspective, I believe men to be of simpler and more practical formation as compared to women. When something bothers us, we simply say it and deal with any consequences later. We eat ice cream because we want to, not because we’re depressed.

As French historian Jules Michelet sums it, “Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions”. While contradiction was defined by one of the girls as the ability to analyze the issue at hand before making a decision, I called it overcomplicating things. You see my premise was simple and straight forward: Men are simple human beings. Women however tend to overanalyze and rather complicate things.

I realize that women nowadays are facing a lot of challenges that didn’t exist in earlier times. Life itself is becoming more complicated as well despite all our attempts to simplify it. Add to that our goals, men and women alike, to have it all doesn’t help in our feeble attempts to understand women, relate to them and occasionally meet eye to eye. One can only dream!

Anyways, a Lebanese thought…

The ‘Satur Day’ Night Life of a Lebanese

First, please allow me to insert a small Forward/ Disclaimer/ Clarification before reading the content of my first actual Lebanese Thought. Although I might regret it someday in the future that I hadn’t gave it much thought about the subject of my first post, I intend this blog to be as such: a simple flow of Lebanese thoughts that express the ideas of a moment, a day, or even a state of mind.

The ‘Satur Day’ Night Life of a Lebanese 

It is actually Saturday night so what a better night to talk about this particular subject. Few hours before heading out to Beirut from the suburbs where I currently reside, I came to think about how important going out and partying is for our current generation of hapless youth. While the norm would be to wait for Friday and Saturday nights to head out and enjoy the weekend, Lebanon and Lebanese break this trend more than often. Nightclubs, pubs, restaurants and cafes with different sizes and themes all seek to attract this customer whose age could range from 16 to 60.

As interesting it might be for non-Lebanese with little knowledge about Lebanon’s night life to read about it, this is not the subject of this post. It is about what goes on the mind of the portion of Lebanese who, after graduation, find themselves not finding much to look forward to except this Saturday night where they go with their friends and spend the night partying and drinking themselves to a next-day hangover. This might seem a normal trend seen in all countries and in different societies. However, the new trend ‘proudly’ launched by us Lebanese, is that every day is a ‘Satur’ day.

Looking from the outside, one might appreciate the scene of vibrant and life-loving young generation that likes to have fun, party and enjoy the moment. However, taking a deeper look into the mindset of this segment of Lebanese people, one wonders what actually lies behind those laughs, those cheers, even tears sometimes. After spending a respective fortune to attain a college degree that might and might not help them earn a living, they find themselves spending whatever little they earn on going out and the required apparel for that. The bigger problem is if you find yourself dating a loving girl friend that wants to enjoy the ‘Satur Days’ with you, without sharing the cost of such ‘quality’ time.

Though I don’t go out every single day, I sure do feel like it and feel as if I’m fighting a constant urge to go out and drink. Oh yea… most of our outings are usually defined by excessive drinking and smoking. Usually, the constant presence of plans and things to do is an indication of a healthy social life. However, in our case, is it a case of a deteriorating life? You rarely find a Lebanese that doesn’t think he is the best at what he does and that the future holds all the riches that he dreams of. This probably gives them the excuse that they need to go on this guilt-less path of pleasures, whether in Hamra, gemaizeh or any other ‘happening’ place in Lebanon. They do so forgetting that tomorrow they will wake up to the same issues they had the day before. Weirdly enough, all that alcohol poured into their digestive system did not help erase all their problems.

Not to be a hypocrite, I’m going out to party in a bit (it is Saturday night after all). However, my going out is not an escape from the troubles of a long week or the worries of what lies in my future…. At least I hope so. We face lots of problems rooted in our Lebanese society which need to be addressed and solved in a practical manner, if any practicality is possible. While our ‘Saturday’ night life style might be a legal sedative against such problems, self-consciousness of these would be a start. This obvious epiphany makes me at ease towards going out. However, a collective recognition and action is of utmost importance. We’re getting there. We will…

…

Anyways, a Lebanese Thought…

Inaugurations

Living in a society where freedom of speech serves little purpose and has little consequences relevant to the society as a whole, if any, WE can't lose hope. Hope for a better future, hope for a better life, hope for a better environment, hope for a better education, hope for better living conditions, hope for peace and finally hope for a unity. This hope for a better tomorrow is what drives me to smile and know that, no matter what happens today, tomorrow will be better. Therefore, with this blog, I aim to highlight the issues of Today from a Lebanese perspective. Please feel free to share yours...